Monday, August 8, 2016

hope in the darkness

Lamentations 3:26
   It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord.

Micah 7:7
   Therefore I will look unto the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation: my God will hear me.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf: "Patience is not simply enduring, it is enduring well!"

I still remember that day so vividly. I think I always will. On February 12, 2016 I wrote this:
this time felt different.

i don't know if i realized it right away, but i think i could sense it deep down. after years and years of trying, you start to know the signs that it didn't work.

this morning, i took a test and it was positive. the very first positive i've ever gotten. i felt like i couldn't breathe and my pulse quickened. wanting to make sure, i went to the dollar store and picked up 3 more tests. all positive. i called our fertility doctor and talked to a nurse to schedule a blood test. the receptionist transferred me to the scheduling nurses, but before she did she congratulated me. it hit me so hard, tears began to form. is this really happening?!

it still doesn't feel real.

And now, here I am, about 7 months in... 29 weeks and 2 days along... 11 weeks to go. It still doesn't feel real sometimes. 

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